صحة

عندما يرد “جاد” على الجارة بقلة تهذيب.. نصائح لزيادة ثقة الأطفال بأنفسهم!

ارتكزت التربية القديمة على كسر أجنحة الطفل والطفلة واخضاعهما لسلطة الأهل. لم يهمل الأهل خلال عقود مضت وسيلةً لإجبار أطفالهم على “سماع كلمتهم” حتّى أنّ الكثيرين من الآباء والأمّهات لجأوا إلى الصراخ، والضرب، والقصاصات القاسية عبر حرمان الصغار من أبسط رغباتهم، وكلّ ذلك لإخضاعهم. أمّا الهدف فكان تنشئة ولد مهذّب. في المقابل، باتت اليوم غالبية الأهالي تعي أهمية تربية طفل واثق من نفسه حتّى إنّ العديد من الأمهات والآباء يردّدون “ماذا ينفع ابنتنا لو جنت أفضل العلامات في المدرسة ولم تكن قوية وواثقة من نفسها كفاية لتُحسِن استثمار خبراتها ولتوصل صوتها وآرائها وتحقّق رغباتها”. هوس بعض الأهالي بتربية طفل واثق من نفسه جعلهم متطرّفين في تعليم صغارهم العدوانية، وهم يشجّعونهم على القيام بردود أفعال عشوائية ولا أخلاقية لضمان أن يبنوا لهم الثقة بذواتهم، فمفهوم الثقة بالنفس اختلط عليهم وضرب خطّ اللياقة والتهذيب.

مثلاً ها هي الجارة تريد أن تعرف كم حصد جاد من علامات في فحص نهاية العام الدراسي. يجيب الطفل بثقة: “ما خصّك”. أمّا والدته فعندما تعرف بهذه الواقعة تشجّعه وتهنّئه على تصرّفه الفذّ، لأنها مقتنعة أنّ قلّة تهذيب ابنها تدلّ على ثقة بالنفس!

في المقابل نجد الأهل الذين يسعون إلى فعل كل شيء عن أطفالهم من اتّخاذ القرارات والتوجيه في أدقّ المواقف خوفاً عليهم من أبسط مطبّات الفشل. هم يعبّرون عن خوفهم المفرط على فلذات أكبادهم من خلال عدم تشجيعهم على الخروج أو اتّخاذ أيّ مبادرات جديدة ربما تطوّرهم، والتهويل عليهم بشبح الفشل والخطر كلّما فكروا بخطو أيّ خطوة. ولكن كيف يتمكّن الأهل من تربية طفل مهذّب وواثق من نفسه في الوقت عينه، محاربين قلقهم من إضعاف شخصيّته وأيضاً خوفهم المفرَط عليه.

جعله فخوراً

يطرح الخبراء طرقاً تزيد ثقة الطفل بنفسه، وتنصح الخبيرة الفرنسية في علم النفس آن باكوس الأهالي بجعل الطفل فخوراً من نفسه، عبر تشجيعه ليتخطّى خوفَه.

يمكن القول له مثلاً: “ما تقوم به جيد” أو “أنا فخور/ة بك”، ولكنّ ذلك وحده لا يكفي، إذ يجب أيضاً دفعه ليجد نجاحه الشخصي ويتأكّد من أنه قادر على الوصول وتسجيل الأهداف. وضعه في مواقف هو قادر على إدارتها بحسب عمره وتركه يحاول السيطرة عليها، يفيده.

لقراءة المقال كاملاً إضغط هنا.

(سابين الحاج – الجمهورية)

مقالات ذات صلة

‫545 تعليقات

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